| Unless you are one of those fortunate few who met their soulmate in
grade school, married right out of high school, and spent the next 60 years
in wedded bliss you are going to go through what millions before you have
gone through, and what millions after you will go through - a broken heart.
The pain experienced during a breakup is as individual as the millions of
people who go through it. While some simply shake the dust off and get right
back into the dating game, others are left so devastated that they never
date again, spending the rest of their life in bitter solitude. Why the
difference? Could some of us just be stronger than others? Do some people
love harder than others? Are some loves more connected than others?
For most of us who experience a breakup a normal grieving period will
occur: Denial and Isolation, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally
Acceptance. But for some, the grief and devastation are so severe that they
end up hospitalized, and even suicidal. Others remain either bitter or so
afraid of getting hurt that they never date again, closing off their hearts
to just about everyone. Yet, some don`t even grieve at all, subconsciously
choosing to simply transfer their feelings for one person immediately onto
that of another person in what is called a rebound relationship.
Why the variation? Well, a lot of it has to do with our loving style.
There are many loving styles ranging from the very healthy, to the desperately
needy. While one person may love another in a supportive and healthy way,
another person may cling onto their mate simply as a way to fix what they
imagine to be wrong with themselves. They use their partner as a method of
dealing with their own imagined inadequacies or feelings of unworthiness
- feeling good only as long as they are in the relationship. Others simply
like the `high` of being in love. This high becomes addictive to them and
they hop from one relationship instantly into another - often times
head-over-heels in love by the second date. They recklessly seek `love` much
as an addict will seek a `fix`, and are often so in need of being in love
that they imagine their partners to have all the qualities they are looking
for in a mate - whether their partners actually possess these qualities or
not. Still others simply surrender themselves into their relationships quickly
losing themselves and their own sense of individuality, becoming `the
relationship`. Should the relationship end, then shall they, too.
A healthy view of oneself, one`s partner, and one`s relationship is
essential to withstanding the ups, and downs, in our eternal search for that
special someone to share our lives with. For more information on breakups
and loving-styles visit http://aboutyourbreakup. |